i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog

Dogs can be wonderful pets, but people dont realize the WORK that goes into having a well adjusted, healthy dog. on all of that! One of each. I think that many of us tend to believe that people can get better overtime, not worse, so it is hard to see everything coming in the middle of a fog. If there is no compromise, there can be no relationship. IMO dogs are pack animals and do better in family situations anyway, so being forced into a solitary situation with one single person creates a LOT of anxiety and behavior problems (aka, like your girlfriends dog). If anything dog people are the controlling ones. Its to the point where her awful abused looks are making me want to hit her. I hope she knows she will always be my girl and no man will ever change that. I have a similar problem with a different dynamic To summarise, I love dogs. Why am I still around? Oh please Im just stressed that this is going to be the same thing! His wife was disgusted because she said that the dog should have stayed on the ground while they ate and now the next person that comes in will be sitting and eating where a dog was? My frustration with my spouse is that he travels frequently and works long hours so he hardly spends time with the dog. When the relationship starts to go downhill, they cling to the dog more almost in a weird attempt at inducing jealousy. I know this dog means the world to my husband and has helped him get through tough times before he met me. He was content sleeping on the ground on an old pillow ( i did hear him moan from time to time while she cradled him so i suspect he didnt actually like it but accepted it) I have happily accepted buying him an official doggy bed :). Yes we talked about it. People lie when they want to bad enough and think they can just change you after the relationship gets serious. And almost NO pet owners take the time to harness that energy or train their dog accordingly. I dont want to have that life! I did not even respond to that stupid. For some reason she feels this is unfair. My husband and I also have a 2 year old son. I am so glad I stumbled across this forum because its the only place Ive found people whose experiences are most similar to mine. I think you giving away your dog however may cause some resentment on your end in the near future, but if its the only way hell get treated better maybe it is your only option. Do dogs stick to mating with one partner, and one partner only till death do them part? She has said she supports my dream. It feels so disgusting and frustrated when a dog poops or pee on a nice carpet on the floor inside the house. Now he says Pancho doesnt like being fed in the bedroom, he feels like he has done something wrong. WOW. I am in a very stressful relationship where I love both my dog and partner. That it was her pet that I had no desire to have or care for and felt it was her responsibility to be taking care of her pet that SHE wants. Demanded that I not allow him out of his room, said he was putting him outside to live, etc. Your family are people and they obviously know you better than your dog; your ex sounds lucky to be rid of you. Now for those of you who hate dogs, or animals on general, you wont understand the bone a person can have with an animal. You cant expect someone to clean up dog s*** and dog p*** everyday and live in a house that smells worse than a kennel! The dogs get more hugs and attention and conversation than I do. Im getting so tipped to the edge about all of this i need help :( x. Once you figure that out the fight wont exist. From day one, training was implemented. Omg! She is aware of the crisis Im facing but sometimes I think she would give me up before she would rehome any one of our Maltese or any one of our two Yorkies. I dont get it, and even if he is spending time with me the dog just stands there and cries staring at him, so he always gets up and goes to he dog, leaving me. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. My wife decided to get a dog even after I told her I didnt want one because they need more social time than cats and the interruptions would be bad for me and our marriage. Anyway, we both have 3 kids each & mutually decided that 3 dogs in the house along with 8 humans was simply too much to deal with. My fiance and i have been together for almost 3 years. He knows his place in the pecking order. I cannot tolerate it. Because shes a dog. he once told me oh no oh my you dont know dogs at all. He has gotten use to the room and plus this dog can sleep for like 8-12 hours a days, sometimes even more. Im going nuts and no amount of grooming or nonsense home remedy will stop the shedding. When I just arrived, he didnt want me to sleep with him because he didnt want to disturb the dogs, who slept in the bed every night! Im an elctrician and have loads contact with people, but am completely trapped have no freinds as my wife was always number one, only moved to australia 5 years ago and in big trouble emotionaly wise. That is a different matter. I have plenty of friends who love their dogs and do not let them on their furniture. I dont know what to do. Otherwise, the dog was great. When you leave the dog for several hours, its recommended to confine it in a noncarpet place. And no, like me, your not losing your mind. Fortunately for her she sees the warning flags going up big time and What you said is most certainly not a fact. We all go into relationships expecting our partners to be normal-rational humans that treat dogs like animals and not god-beings. Im not gonna dig into that huge portion of the training. Ive tried to make accomodation after accomodation for my husband of five years. From the beginning, Mango slept in our bedwhether between us or just near me. No thanks! I consider giving them up {Ive had the pigs for over a year}, ignoring the nasty comments, or moving {but not sure I can afford another house and this home is 50% mine and Ive put money into it. } This dog is seriously making my life hell. It is stressful for me as well but I seem to handle some things better. Whenevr I try to address the issue, she gets pissed off and doesnt want to talk about it. I dont want to come home to a house that is pissed and pooped and smells worse like a dog shelther and where I will have to be responsible for cleaning. Rescue your marriage: find a new, permanent home for the dog and dont buy any more animals without first talking it through. Youre better off without him and dont deserve that. She would just have to get more bulldogs as she seemed to adore that sickly breed (no such thing as a healthy bulldog) and have a revolving door of bulldogs and loneliness unless she finds someone as obsessed about bulldogs as she is and then they can both have their revolving door of them! And tell him to rehome the dog if it continues to happen. Consult a veterinarian: Meet your veterinarian right away and seek advice and take necessary actions. I would die. Then throw his ass out. I have been married for over a year and living with my hubby for over 3 years. Lady your dog is leading your life. This is same man who would make family or friends kennel their pets when visiting us. and our She spends no time outside so she sheds everywhere! Im losing my damned mind! Was untrained and would also get rewarded for misbehaving. My dog died at 3 years old. Calls her a good girl and constantly gives her treats and loves on her. Overtime I thought I started liking and loving the pet and that it was growing on me. after a completely unprovoked barking and near biting episode her human said she just loves me and wants to make sure she protects me. He takes his 13 year old Lab a plate of goodies every night after dinner. He in turn is asking me to consider giving up my home, friends, and family to move to a different state to be with him. Julia, How were we supposed to know that our partner was going to laugh at us when their dog farted in our face and then yelled at us when we became depressed about it? Choose wisely. Be Polite but Vigilant. True, its not the dogs fault as the animals dont know any better because they are animals. She did not approach the man even when he was waving a 45$ Steak. i cannot be in this relationship , its really hard. My desire to complete my furry family is running strong. This cat drives me up the wall, it sheds hair like crazy, bangs on doors and cries all night, it sleeps in our bed if its allowed in and attacks our feet ( bizarre) while my husband lovingly indulges its bad behaviour. When she passed my macho husband was very sad, stayed by her side, and cried quite a bit. I am so glad I found this site because I have nobody to vent to. And my poor dog is outside at 4 a.m. Together we have two cats and a dog we rescued a couple years ago. If youre the one who brought the pet into the relationship, be prepared to do a little extra work. WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT MEAN! If he didnt go right to bed, shed bark at him. She sits between your legs staring at you while you eat. With the dogs, I feel we never have no privacy when we are at home and I rather be out so we have quality time together without me hearing the constant names of the dogs in sweet voices. I just dont understand not loving a dog, any dog. Hahahah. Help! Break up. He quit saying it. I didnt really realize the extent of how much he hated animals until we got married. I refuse to allow some brat of an animal ruin things that I have worked hard and paid for. The huge red flag: a couple of weeks into our relationship my partner said he had to tell me a secret and that he hoped I would understand. This is real, hard, continuous effort and I believe that this is why some people give up on their human relationship and turn their efforts and affections towards animals. He walks the dog on one of those telescoping leashes which makes us difficult to walk the dogs together (my dog stays to my left at all times), and last weekend at the park a little girl was running and didnt see the leash and almost fell. So if you find yourself second to an animal in a relationship, save yourself a lot of heartbreak and get out! He used to sleep with both the dog and cat in bed before we lived together. Loving and loyal. They must have hurt him because that is not how I raised him. Shes fine if its her telling his backstory, but I only have so much time in terms of making suggestions or offering to help. We still get married but live apart i ask?..his response was yeah i guess so but that really sux! According to them, your dog is supposed to have the run of the house. We have a baby in the way, I am 30 weeks pregnant and very worried about the added stress and chaos the dogs bring to our lives and household.. I was so afraid that I feared he may have crossed a line he shouldnt have. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. I guess he probably sees the thing like his child also. So to get to my story, I moved in with my Gf about 4 years ago. Three months after we married he came down with bronchitis. There are many constraints you have passively aggressively imposed on your partner. Most importantly, never sell yourself short and allow yourself to be second best. He keeps going on about how the dog is older and has always been by his side, I seriously can never win! You may not even realize how much the dog has overtaken your thoughts and your life, and if you and bf dont live together, that is even less time that he is getting with you. I HATE having fur on my clothes. I HATE her! My yorkie Rocky being one of them. He never said he didnt like my one dog Pitty until we moved in together. He thinks it is his kid, and even takes it to daycare everyday. THEY ARE A ANIMAL, just like COWS, DEER, and SHEEP!!!! If she cant honestly support your dream 100 percent to me does not seem worth it. What is the deal with sleeping with animals? So, a hardwood floor is a nice alternative for the carpeted floor, and it can provide remedies for the majority of his worries. You and them, plus the animals. Dont get me wrong, I love animals, but It just caused multiple fights between us. If you are unable to do so, the dog will be rehomed as this is a fair reason. Im not interested in a DOG keeping me awake. I must mention that I was also caretaker for my mom and dad. She insists that the dog sleep in the bed. The other night I was walking up the stairs and turned around to see my husband lean down and kiss his Lab on the mouth. Besides the above, supervising its water intake, choosing the correct brush, choosing the correct shedding tool are also can impact the amount of shedding in your dog. Spray some in the dogs mouth so she knows what it tastes like, then spray it on whatever you dont want her to chew. Our dogs sleep on the couch, despite repeated promises, before buying a new couch, that they wouldnt. I sit there trying to enjoy dinner while watching her dog on the couch hovering over her plate! Shes actually part min pin and part Doxie. I have a lab, who has had obedience training. My family always let the dogs stay inside. A new poll of 3,500 dog parents from . We are talking about moving in together and everything else besides the dog is great, but Im thinking about not moving in with him because of the dog. :O When my ex was abusing me hed try all sorts of tactics to get in my head and even attempted to kidnap my Siberian wolf. You get the point. So here is the problem: My dog loves animals. Unlike your family your dog never disagrees with you, no matter how wrong you are, because it has no idea what you are talking about. I brought a cat into the relationship and she brought a French Bulldog. Other solutions that are worth considering. We put it just outside the dog for so she can go outside to potty but come inside to sleep but only could reach a certain distance into the house and not have free roam. I know my boyfriend feels that if I just gave her a chance Id change my mind. They have personalities as people do and understand boundaries. And thats the rub. Video of them walking saying they drag their feet. My ex and I would walk with her bulldogs and people driving by would look and smile. I am glad he didnt have kids because if that is any signthose kids would be entitled and unsupervised. I was fooled into thinking that my boyfriend could have become more into pets in the aftermath of something he deems traumatic to himself. Hes had all that time to tell me about his dislike of dogs the first time he met my parents I asked him before we went in if he was okay with dogs and he said yes! I cried the entire time when I signed the dogs over. This dog is horrible and is ruining my life. First, I am not a dog hater. I am intelligent, pretty, and slim. We have already discussed 15 reasons why your husband/boyfriend may want to get rid of the dog with 15 possible solutions. I have never in my life seen a dog that sheds soooooo much hair. My boyfriend and I just moved in together and he is okay with the dog living here with us. All our money is shared; the house is in his name, so are all the cars, and whenever I try to save some money aside in case I have to leave and take the dogs with me, he throws a tantrum and guilts me till I submit. Besides her annoying habits such as constantly licking the floor, and herself, scratching any closed doors whenever she feels like it, etc, she was allowed by my husband to sleep in bed with us, even during my pregnancy while the smell of her would make me sick. I like dogs and understand why other do as well. Thanks, Nikki. All I know is that its really frustrating. Maybe you could talk to him if you have a fenced yard into doing the same as i did? And then the excuses is, but you know I had dogs! My bf wants to feed it HUMAN FOOD (not suppose to) The thing, gets diarrhea every once in a while. Litter boxes are so useful when training tiny puppies, as they dont know how to use bathrooms. I found him tripping and cant see where dog is helping him at all. raise your kids to love and respect animals but making them a sibling, i think not. We tried leaving him outside and he destroyed screens plants and the whole 9. This comprehensive guide contains 15 reasons why your husband/boyfriend wants to rehome the dog and 23 possible solutions. . I think the marriage should be prioirity number 1 and that both parties should agree on this. I also have a dog of my own. If so, necessary actions can be taken just by following your vets advice. It seems reasonable to need a bit of adjustment time. I didnt want him on furniture which he has done and not in our room. These same dogs that these dog nuts break up with people over, would leave these people in a heart beat if someone came along with a juicy bit of steak. I tried to do this, but it was too much. :( any advice? and cherry on top she has a problem when we cuddle and affectionate. Just as I clean the house. I was second and the dog was always placed first. We fight about it and he says he hates the dog. People so often posit their relationships with their pets on nothing beyond feel good feelings they get from the pet being fully dependent upon them, when they would never accept that type of arrangement with another human being. But after expressing my feelings towards my partner and them being disregarded, I mostly dont want the dog on the bed because my feelings were tossed to the side. I need advice please!!! Being offered food and having her bare her teeth isnt one. I dont let the dogs sleep with us and they both have their own spaces in the house where they sleep, and where they are allowed to be during the day as well, but ever since we got the puppy my 10 year old yorkie is waking us both up barking at 3AM, 4AM, 5AM to eat. Get away from these animals as fast as possible. My story is similar to all of yours in which your SO is in love with their pet. He has to sleep in the bed too, and even though he isnt a big dog, hes clingy and hogs the bed. its just not healthy, and far from normal. But at the end of the day they are JUST animals!!! But I am aware that he does not treat them equally and my dog has picked that up too. Dogs/cats do not have the propensity to fill the void of another human being. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I have not ever hated dogs. She doesnt bark to let us know she needs to go outside like our other dog. A dog cannot call you out when youre wrong like a person can. by the second day she barely barked. Meg- Omg! So occasionally he has/had an accident. At first I said, the dog. A dog will stay with you out of need, a partner doesnt rely on you for their basic necessities. My situation felt so nuts, I felt as though I was going insane to the point I sought counseling because I loved my DH. Later I said, hed save me and blame me for the dog dying. He thinks dogs belong outside. Regards. I do agree with you as far as how a couple individually interacts with a pet. She drops her dog off at her parents house, which helps because he isnt alone since they have a dog. And guess who has to clean up all the s***? Please find a home or even a foster home for the dog, he deserves to be with a family that truly wants him! Take care. An infant is unable to comprehend parental love until their memory begins to prove around the age of 3. My Chihuahua isnt like mostshes friendly, socialized, doesnt bark unless someone rings the doorbell, fully house trained,etc. A year on and he works full time and he cant take dog with him, I work from home so I look after both dogs, sometimes my partner doesnt even take them for walks in the evening as hes so tired from work and he gets upset if I dont go for a walk with him ,but its all right for me to walk the dogs during the day by myself. He blames it on her being a puppy which shes 1 so she is. So to me the thought of rehoming a dog because it suddenly doesnt fit in with your new boyfriend arrangement is pretty low. Cookie Notice I left and havent regretted it. Just like it would be a mistake to get involved with someone with children who hates hates hates children. We hired a personal trainer who we did lessons with together as a team and we diligently kenneled her to work on house breaking and we let her sleep in the living room. I have had dogs and other animals my whole life. Even after surgeries I have had, he has refused to take the dog out and I would have to with me barely able to move. It was wearing diapers for at least six months, walking into walls, it forgot who we were, forgot its name, and forgot any commands. The next time I walked in, the dog was on the far right end of the sofa. Alisa, Also I agree with Michael that your dog not being socialized is an extremely bad thing. They get jealous when we are hugging and start whining. He always had to have his face in hers, lick my toes, she wouldnt get out of the truck, feeding her after every meal on my dinner plates. I im not sure if its an indoor or outdoor dog. ! I said no! He says Im the sick one being jealous of dog. Or at least thats why I didnt want the dog on the bed in the first place. How many points will I take away? Then in October she said that she would put in an effort to get him a new homeover five months later she has done nothing to find the dog a new home. They follow me every where and never leave my side. I only know that she had gotten this dog with her ex bf. Fast forward a few years and quite a bit of work, I moved her away from all of her life threatening habits and got her cleaned up, I bought a house and we now have a child together. If the dog cant be cured, and is posing a danger to you and others, then it is right to take a stand. Some of our friends and family members are not dog people, and well be damned if we alienate those people over a dog. So sad. Agree. They were well trained. You sant a dog for you and could honestly care less about a future partner or the dog itself. And he possibly uses his mutt as he is passive aggressive so perfect his mutt can growl and bark and dog owner can quietly enjoy the dominance that he really probably wishes for himself. He has also peed in the house a couple of times. Then my partner came into my life. Oh, and yes he takes the dog in the shower with him too. They both get on the couch that we recently purchased, are constantly hunting for food to eat, especially Bobbi and crying! What should i do? Thank you. Which she refuses. My boyfriend cant handle that this dog is bouncy, happy to see him and that he wants to cuddle with him. Anyway, as I was feeding the baby I hear my dog whining which I know means he needs to go out. i moved over a series, and after a long-distance relationship, lasting two years, i married my french wiffe. I told her how her mom said before they got their dog that he was left alone in their house, and her response was, yeah, and who knows how long he was howling for! She makes no effort to break this habit either, which pisses me off. I grew up with dogs, they will not die from having table scraps! Overall the dog has adapted very well. Now he wasnt allowed on the bedeven if he was laying right beside me away from my husbands side. He scratches people, pisses on the floor to get peoples attention. So I am dealing with a situation with my husband agreeing on taking care of his brothers dog for a YEAR as he and his family gallivant across Europe, without consulting with his entire family. Clothes included. We got our dog after we were married, and the reason its worked is because weve been on the same page regarding the boundaries set. Hes taking his threats a bit rough, like taking the whole fingers in the mouth but I think hes gonna learn to take it gentle with some training. And I dont at all understand the idea of not liking a particular dog. Its absolutely disgusting. We dont live together but we spend a lot of time at each others houses. Wake upor go to sleep, without the dogs! If your vets saids they can live up to 20 years..that gives me a headache. He wont eat and acts weird. That causes quite a disturbance as my BF focuses carries on and gets all stressed out. Its just crazy! Id chosen the colour of the carpets and walls and was so excited showing him. The dogs are not your children. I do not believe that an animal who is not capable of properly maintaining itself should be in your bed! Its also unfair to her parents, since the dog that they own is beginning to be a nuisance, and they want to get rid of them. Things worked ok for a while my wife complained about grass in the house so I invested in artificial grass to solve the problem. Now, let us go back nine years in time. If this is due to aging effects, he will give you sort of special pieces of advice. Ive literally slept in my vehicle with my clothes packed many times because I refuse to be humiliated and belittled over a animal. I find myself dreading her coming home because I have to deal with them constantly meowing and demanding her attention, which she gladly gives them. For the first 6 months my partner did not mind her sharing the bed. My bf and I struggled when we moved in together about his dog because he couldnt contemplate why I wasnt such a nutty dog lover. Okay since then my 3 kids and I have moved twice and recently moved into a home and my boyfriend of 6 months has moved in with us. Why not question yourself, why not realise that if it were to ever get to that point in your relationship, that you are effectively saying that my dogs are more important than youll ever be. Pip I agree when the dogs gone what then? Most arguments over pets come from the primary owner making excuses for them. Her bulldog was 7 years old and they live 8-12 years and the other one was 5. I call her the furry wife and thats exactly what she has been. No training whatsoever only training is attempts to pretend dog is a baby, which IS dangerous as dangerous behaviour is reinforced when growling threatening a teeth hating a stranger gets it picked up cuddles or baby talk. As long as an animal isnt being neglected or abused, your significant other always comes first. Back to me and my girlfriend. Im at a loss to what I should do for the dog and my wifeplease comment. He would come home love the dog and everything and Ill be in the kitchen making dinner and when hes done giving the dog attention he sits on the couch. One thing that many dog lovers dont understand is that the emotional energy that they invest in their animals robs them of some of the emotional energy that is so vital and necessary between a married couple. They think that were overreacting because we dont like fur on our clothes. Youd put an animal above a marriage? I have spoken to her many times about my frustrations but she says I am overreacting and insensitive. You dont need to do anything, she knows from the beginning your passion for your dog. I completely broke down in tears. So we decided to take action and ask our landlord to have her live with us, the landlord said yes. We have been going rounds about the animal for quite some time. 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He scratches i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog, pisses on the floor to get to my husband of five years a doesnt! Be rid of you so if you find yourself second to an animal ruin things i! Other animals my whole life of five years to 20 years.. that gives me a headache child.! A weird attempt at inducing jealousy my wifeplease comment number 1 and that he does not worth!