August came around I went back to school. But how can we trust someone who says they love us and then, intentionally hurt us? God bless! Could you be the one who's not listening? Even after arising that issue betwn us, he didnt make any efforrs to regain my trust for him. ?pretty much hurts and also my first. P.S. I cant let go of people. Find the courage to leave him! I dont want to lose him,i made a mistake and have learnt to trust him now! HE ACTED LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. Has done things for me, in my own home. He works constantly and Im a stay at home dog mom (Recently weve been wanting kids). I was heart broken. Rather than jumping to conclusions, have a conversation with your partner and ask them what's been on their mind and the reasons for their apparent loss of interest. Thats hurtful. One particularly painful reason that a partner has checked out could be that they've lost interest in the relationship and don't wish to pursue it any longer. Although weve talked about it many times and although I told him I wanted to go out once a month, he doesnt initiate. I feel like now hes doing things to purposely piss me off like not talk to me all day or say that Im always starting crap. FUNCITONING ALCOHOLIC. We havent been fighting everyday. Hes the opposite. Go back to doing the things I use to do before I met him. Girl please, stop wading knee deep in his shit! The truth is that there are a number of reasons that could cause your partner to check out emotionally. This is the only problem in our relationship, the lack of effort. And I would listen but then my insecurities would come back and were back to where we started. My bday in Jan and our 5 year anniversary/V-tines Day was a sh*t show. I asked him why he didnt and I wasnt yelling I only needed just an explanation. This all happended 1 1/2yrs back.. From that day on, several times we discussed this. If youve been together for a long time (a 7 or 8 on that relationship scale at the beginning of this article), then maybe you can see that your boyfriend isnt making an effort because hes dealing with serious issues in other parts of his life. Im going through the same thing now. I start to think that maybe he is cheap and he doesnt want to spend money having a meal in a nice restaurant because we didnt go out for a proper dinning experience. He constantly tells me he loves me but its starting to feel less true. We usually see each other every weekend but he normally works 6 days a week, 10 hours a day so we actually spend less than 24 hours a week with each other. Please take some money you get from promotion and go to Counseling to help you. The sex? okay so how i try to avoid causing a scene over tht is i would comeover to his place, thts the only place he would be fine because if i ask him to meet me at my area or anywhr else he wouldnt want to. We continue dating but not once did he ever bring up talking about all that he mentioned. I think him doing that even though you have said you arent okay with it is extremely disrespectful and shows he doesnt care about your feelings. When were on nights out and theres drink involved, he has a habit of literally disappearing for the whole day (with other people he knows that arent in my circle) and he doesnt contact me, when I try to contact him he usually does answer but after talking to him I never see any sign of him. Its time to let him go, you did all you could. It was over a year ago that I asked my boyfriend if he would take me out on a date, but it never happen. wishful thinking: wanting to be wanted deeply wanted to feel like a woman kisses, grabbed, eye gazed wanting to be complimented and acknowledged. But its not ones job to fix me. He does have some medical issues, but seems to be taking care of most of them, he also says he does suffer from depression and I am wondering if this is what is happening. He is using you for everything you got. he nvr suprises me, nvr rlly care if im okay or not. Maybe he always expects you to be waiting for him, ready to do whatever he wants. Carve out time for conversation, get in tune with their needs, stop avoiding difficult chats, empathize with what they say, and listen to how they say it. You can spend a lifetime figuring out a persons situation and analyze things, but at the end of the day, actions are louder than words, and if a man/women REALLY wants to be with you, they will move mountains. He comes to stay here but thats it really. Im planning to attend grad school this coming August and I havent manage to get all my stuff in yet because Im busy with my kiddos, house chores and helping him with work. He may be afraid to show sensitivity, make sure to let him know that its okay for him to cry. He lost his dad, my nana nearly died and now needs constant care then her partner died and now this lockdown. We both have a lot of jealousy issues and insecurities. He tries to make me think Im crazy when I talk him about it. Is that just how things are going to go? Then I come home to him sleeping in bed. I sometimes think my expectations are too high. We do get a long very well and we are highly mature people. He always used to put his friends before me, lied to me, involved in gangs and drugs. When I first met him I didnt think I needed a relationship but now especially in this lockdown I feel a little empty and alone. And are you willing to invest more years/months than to call it off now? Especially since he cant even deliver the bare minimum in this relationship. It was all too perfect in the beginning and I was fearful. Just know youre not the only one feelings this Im not sure what is going on because I confront him about it and he says he just hasnt been on his phone. He tells me I could come over to his familys Thanksgiving, but only after everyone has left and only for leftovers (aka forgo my Thanksgiving dinner with my family and eat reheated sides). WebYes bare minimum but extra behaviors from a coworker. I decided to pull back and just sit and watch. He had stopped taking pictures of me, he stopped liking my pictures in social media, the gifts stopped, and overall I felt as a hassle when I hung out with him. and drags me with this idea too. Recently, despite being together for 5 years, I feel like a booty call. What should I do? This makes me Am I the problem here? Over the past 2 months something changed. But when it comes to his business he always asks for my help and Im always putting things aside to help him. I dont do things just to expect it in return but you just want reassurance that youre appreciated. I told him 3 times that this has bothered me and he has made no effort to change this. No girl its perfectly normal to miss how things where in the beginning! But with the current situation with the virus we will probably meet even less. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 yrs & was confused and often questioned his love for me & his commitment to me. However, how do we Know that the ll will Change? His daughter really likes me. This man is no good for you, and he will never learn how to grow out of his depression if theres someone always doing everything for him. Seriously, he was amazing. The one time I did ask him to pick me up at the train, he forgot. Once in a while, I managed to do something to please him. He said hes not going through something. But I have stopped always responding to him quickly and am now just being courteous but not engaging beyond that, and he gets concerned and starts asking whats wrong, am i mad at him, etc. She bought it but ofc Im a bad liar. Libido has infinitely dropped. But for him, anniversaries are pointless. I am getting back to a new normal. He broke up with her partner before we had sex they already messed up before me. But he makes time for his boys and gaming everyday. I stayed in that relationship. I know for sure that he likes me as well. Im always the one asking him to do something, Im always planning my work schedules around his and swapping shifts etc I just feel like its so one sided sometimes. It feels awful when you feel like you care about him more than he does about you. But all I want from him is a simple hug. When ALL grocery stores near us are closed saying I dont feel like cooking tonight, we dont have all the ingredients so I say ok why is it that you didnt notice this when you got home from work when stores were open? I also pay all the bills, budgeting, grocery shopping. Tonight was my last straw.. but thats what made me fall in love with him and now that i feel like the efforts arent made or not even made but not wanted, not driven, not desired as he felt before. Days have past he ask to have sex with me I really like him and agreed to have just a fun sex. I have asked him on several occasions to make more of an effort but it ends up in an argument. I bought him a beautiful set of cufflinks from his university for Christmas. He said he is trying to change. Oh and i forgot to say that the first and second time i snuck out I paid his sister 40 dollars OUT OF MY BIRTHDAY MONEY. Help. His complaint is that no matter what he does is never enough and that I dont contribution anything. He has learning and growing to do. Is he back with me to punish me or hes still holding back because of the break up and I just need to wait? We do not even live together and he puts no effort, and I think throughout the years it would get worse if we get married, or live together. Things had been going really well during the time we decided to get back together and I thought things were really different. Men go through depression, hurt and sorrow just like us women do. He regularly bought me presents and he showered me with compliments. You need to rest your hopes, dreams and future on a love that never fails, a river that never runs dry. When Your Husband Still Works With His Ex Affair Partner. I know he is under a huge amount of stress because of work issues and family issues We dont spend much time with each other since we are both extremely busy, however; I am always keen to plan my time so we could at least spend half a day with each other weekly or every two weeks. Hey, I wasnt planning on replying to anyone, because I was just listening to other people with similar stories, but I actually went through a very similar thing. He is quite affectionate and does make sure the bills are paid etc. That night at 1 am I snuck out and had his sis pick me up. Reading thru the comments solidifies my opinion that any woman who actually feels, attempts to comprehend said feelings, does her due diligence to ensure consideration for any other human being that may be identified as part of her analysis, and is able to attempt to reconcile the differences that led her to see things she could have done better is going to accept that her analysis as follows: She will always be in confused state of mind until she accepts that he doesnt have to put in effort to do or say anything for her to feel he loves her because like all children do, the man-child she wants so badly messed up, smashed thru her boundaries he forgot the moment he sw her lips stop movinb, blamed her for being so stupid n try to set boundaries HAHA,and eventually his man-child tantrum scores him the win! I realised hes never going to change, no matter how many times Ive brought it up. I have brough up some of the issues and he acts clueless and doesnt know what to do. I stay with him but he doesnt make any effort in helping in the house financially and his not willing to look for a job. It took several conversations where I told him i needed him to be the one to ask me to meet up and reach out more often, as it made me feel loved. You can change how you respond to your boyfriend and everything else in your life. We met and it was pretty much an instant connection. Its insane. Another thing is that my relationship with him heavily influenced my religion. As his tummy is upset, but theres been more times idk I just think in this lockdown Ill message him say Im not far from where he is and Im like I could drive past wave from my car and hes like no dont do that. We dont barely talk to each other. He has weak immune systems and get sick often so we do have days without communication.Im completely okay with not talking everyday. Everything has started crumbling over the last few months. That also means i cant get a job either. i just dump my 2mnths loveless relationship before it gets deeper. I have been doing some self-evaluation to determine the role I played in the relationship. I hope this helps! I dont know what else to say about any of it, but I do know that Im getting more depressed by the day. Now its almost been two weeks since weve seen each other. We havent had sex on a Saturday in about a year. No present. Find some activities/interest that give you pleasure independently find some close friends make some successes in your life that you can gain confidence from and then worry about your relationship when you are on stronger grounds. Now he says he doesnt like my friends so he never makes an effort to go out with me when Im with them. Am so confused I dont rilly know what to do . We would always say I like you instead of I love you. to think I was already 32 years old still got fooled by a man. I stayed, I settled for hearing that he loves me and cares about me but all the ugly and mean things said and done between those few comments of praise and validation, was the permission given to keep doing it. I love my partner but I just feel like Im too smothering to him, I thought this was how you ought to be in a relationship. i dont know what i should do since i know that he has feelings for me but i feel like he treats me like a friend a lot of the time. He has always been so sweet and consistent. Its exhausting when you are the one doing the heavy lifting. With him, he tried very hard to get the first couple dates with me and he didnt stop. That gives a clear instruction on how they can help meet your needs. Here are just some of the effects if one partner will fail to pay full time & attention not just with their partner but with the relationship itself. We go no where, we do nothing. It isnt fair. Then once the virus hit, he completely changed. Works always. And you need to figure out why youre not asking him to treat you better. The only time hes gotten me flowers was when I left him one time. When he wants to intimate with me i have told him severl times i do not trust you,because i couldnt forget that incident. If your S.O. My biggest obstacles are, if I make new friends or find a new boyfriend someday, how long before Im labeled as a b**ch and rejected all over again. I encouraged him to ask for help through his cohort and luckily one of them came through and got him this great job at the investment firm he works at. I would break up and then we would make up. I was the one initiating our relationship and I feel like he thinks just being there is enough for me. Im not sure how to approach any of this with him. His excuse was that he had no time because of work. I cannot communicate with him. Forget it. There are plenty more examples. But no. Just torn and dont know what to do. He also spends all is money on one of purchases like 600 pound shoes and then moans to borrow money while I foot the bill for car expenses etc.I feel like the only time he cuddles me is when he wants sex and if I have an excuse he immediately pulls away. I had stated in the beginning of the relationship I wanted marriage. Get woke honey, the mans just not that into you. So any advice would be helpful. Each weekend he has been helping his DJ friend ( his BFF), or going out with best buddies. He brought me back the same time as last time. Maybe he will change one day, but you shouldnt suffer while he figures it out. To never have to apologize to me, to never have compassion, to never find contentment, to never make up for hurting me, to never stop enjoying it. This past week, I got strep throat and was miserable, so I didnt do anything, and since I got antibiotics, Ive been feeling better, but Im debating on doing anything to show him how much I do and how little he does. Im hoping this isnt becoming a pattern. he says that he cares and loves me but doesnt do anything to show me that. Dont forget, you deserve affection, effort, and communication. Hasnt bought me nothing but flowers once and concert tickets which was canceled cuz of covid. if he told you he does not see a future with you, as hard as it is, you need to walk away now. You deserve so much more than whats going on and it seems like youve been by his side throughout all the ups and downs but he cant be the man you need. Dont tell him, because he might try to manipulate you. Why doesnt he show his love? Ive asked him to work on this and as the article says, he says he will and he does..for about a half a day. I feel lonely and he NEVER wants to go out or do anything. NO PHONE CALL. Im so sorry this happened to you. she tells him SHE is sorry. Get emotionally and spiritually healthy. 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